Why Blogging Has Been Difficult: My New Approach

Hello

It's been a long time since I sat down and wrote a blog post, and to be honest it's because my thoughts and feelings haven't been in the best place...which has made writing blog posts a trigger for me. I would sit down and start a post but become overwhelmed by the memories that were being triggered, so I stepped away. Although I want this blog to be authentic about my experiences and how difficult it has been to navigate life, I don't want to trigger myself for the sake of content. I didn't create this blog to make money or become a content creator, I created this blog to give myself a place to express myself while in the hopes of helping other trauma survivors feel less alone. So, not writing a blog post for months isn't something I want to get in the habit of doing. Yet at the same time I don't want to trigger myself knowing I have a full time job to maintain and my sanity to keep in tact, so I think I may have found a compromise.

Earlier this year I purchases a journal titled "A Journal Within: An Introspective Activity Journal To Help You Get To Know Yourself Better" published by Piccadilly (USA) Inc because I felt like writing blog posts was becoming too overwhelming, so I wanted to have general blogging posts to complete from a trauma informed perspective. However, I never cracked it open...until today. I had an emotionally exhausting therapy session this week that placed my grief on the table and I was was not prepared for that to happen. I knew it would be an intense session because I've been having a lot of panic attacks lately and my anxiety seems to only be getting worse. So, I can't say I was surprised that this session left me feeling stuck.

What made that moment even more sucky is that I didn't have the strength to blog about it. Creating this blog helped a great deal when it came to getting back into the swing of things when I went back to work after taking time off. However, this time around I didn't have the emotional space to write about it. It's hard to write about these emotions when they are still tag teaming me and making life pretty difficult. So, today I found myself wanting to write about anything just so I could tap into a creative space, which made me remember the journal I purchased. The questions all center around quotes and have a question and/or thought to think about. While I would love to say that I plan to blog about every question, I don't want to pretend that I am. I just want to write. I will literally write about the weather at this point,just so I can tap into the creative and peaceful space that writing gives me.

So, in the spirit of just writing about anything that will help me put my fingers on the keyboard, I plan to focus the next several blog posts on this journal. Sometimes I will focus on the quote and sometimes I will focus on the question, while other times I may focus on both. There may even be times that I move away from this journal and find a random journal prompt online if I find that the journal has the possibility of triggering me.

This is me being honest with you and myself that being a trauma survivor is lifelong for me. Some survivors are able to overcome and move past their scars, however I'm not one of those people. I will go back to writing personal blog posts, trauma education centered posts, and media reviews but until I can enter that space again without wanting to hide in my closet and shut everybody out...I will take you on my journey within.

Until Next Time

~Brina B

---

Disclaimer: This blog post doesn’t serve as therapy or professional help. If you’re in need of professional help, visit the resources section of the website.